Who vs. Whom

Both of them should be "whom".

This is the man to whom I wanted to speak...

Marvin wondered to whom he should give the message...

We use "whom" when we're referring to the object of the sentence.

We use "who" when we're referring to the subject.

There's a very simple test you can use to figure out which version to use:

Turn the statement into a question and answer it with a pronoun.

For example:

Quote:

This is the man to whom I wanted to speak.

To whom did I want to speak? I wanted to speak to HIM.

Quote:

I really hate the guy who stole my girlfriend.

Who stole my girlfriend? HE did.

If you answer the question with him/her/them, then "whom" is the right choice.

If you answer the question with he/she/they, then "who" is the right choice.


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As explained by Kaplan instructor Stuart on BTG.